Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
