U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
