Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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