i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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