so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
