Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
