So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
