We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
