There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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