3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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