I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
