You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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