then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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