I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
