My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize