Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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