Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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