She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No I am not eating basil off your cock
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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