Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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