Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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