Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
