I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize