the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
