Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
