Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well you can't waste a boner
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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