Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
