But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life is so much better after having sex.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
