idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
