and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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