handjob tips. give me some.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
