There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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