I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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