There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All the doctor said was why
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize