took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
