What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
