This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize