i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
