i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
