Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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