GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
