I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You were trust falling into bushes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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