Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
