How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the condom got lost in my hair
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
