I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
