I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
