your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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