South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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