yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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