It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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