like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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