So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize