he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
