I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
