$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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