Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
