can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Found your dick twin last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
