I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
