i was born a porn star she said
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
