Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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