Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize