I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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