I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
