How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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