After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
