We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
