we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
