yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
