why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to make out with him forever
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
