think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
