PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His hands were made for my vagina.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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