What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
