I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
