what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
