Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize