Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
