That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
