Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
