it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
