For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
