They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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