you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
tell me about the eggs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
